


One Sentence Prompts

by G_the_G



Series: Tumblr Dry on Low [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Darcy is the fandom bicycle and I love it, F/M, Gen, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/G_the_G/pseuds/G_the_G
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of prompts from tumblr where I was supplied with one sentence (and sometimes more) and I would continue with five more sentences (always more). A bit of platonic, a bit of soulmates, and, of course, a whole lot of Darcy Lewis.</p><p>1. Gen<br/>2. Darcy/Clint<br/>3. Darcy/Remy<br/>4. Darcy/Steve<br/>5. Darcy/Bucky<br/>6. Darcy/Sam<br/>7. Darcy/Wade Wilson<br/>8. Darcy/Johnny Storm</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gen

1 **. I don't discriminate I hate you all equally**

Darcy snorted and Fury directed is steely, one-eyed glare her way.

“Did you have something to add, Ms. Lewis?”

“Nothing, o furious one.”

He let out a sigh.

“Fine, I hate you a little more than the rest.”

She flashed him a winning smile.

“I know that’s just your way of telling me you love me! And I’ll just take that as approval for our field trip!”

Before he could say anything else she turned on the ball of her foot. But she heard him yelling after her.

“Fine, go back to New Mexico. But please, for the love of all that’s holy, do _not_ go to Roswell and pretend we’re aliens that kidnapped you. Again!”

 

* * *

 

2.  **Dude, chocolate: yes or yes?**

Jane nodded sagely.

“I accept your proposal and propose an amendment.”

Darcy raised her brows and set down the shopping list she’d been composing that so far only had one item.

“Please, do explain, boss lady.”

“Thank you, minion.”

Jane cleared her throat and held up her hand to count off on her fingers.

“Chocolate. _And_ booze.”

Darcy let out a long hum.

“See. This is why you’re the one in charge. Chaotic neutral genius strikes again!”

 

* * *

 

3. **this is not my idea of a date, there aren't even breadsticks!**

Darcy could hear Jane’s sigh on the other end of the line.

“Your dubious opinion on romantic dinner locations aside, you need to get off of the phone and leave the bathroom.”

The toilet in the next stall flushed and Darcy winced.

“Whatever. The Olive Garden is totally a classy place to go, I don’t care what you say.”

The bathroom door opened and closed as the other occupant left. Darcy mentally cringed that the other woman hadn’t washed her hands first. Gross much?

“Darcy.”

“What?”

There was a pause and she could picture Jane winding up for an argument.

“Whether or not you knew this was a date when you said yes, you need to get out there. Think about the poor guy.”

“Why do you think he’s the poor one in this situation? He could be a spy for all we know! Maybe he only asked me to try and get vital information.”

“I highly doubt Wayne is a mole.”

“Yeah, that’s what you said about Kevin from accounting and look how that turned out.”

Jane let out another sigh.

“Fine. If he turns out to be HYDRA, then you can say ‘I told you so.’ But for now I’m going back to my research and you should get back to your date.”

Darcy let out a whine.

“Can’t you just, like, blow up the lab or something?”

“Sorry. If you wanted explosions, you should’ve taken Tony’s offer for ‘accomplice to bitchin Science! and shit’ when you had the chance.”

 

* * *

 

4. **Hanging upside down by one leg from the ceiling, she narrowed her eyes and said, "...What's your point?"**

Jane folded her arms and looked at Darcy nonplussed.

“I told you we should have gotten Clint to help is get the scanner from the vents. But no, you refused ‘based on principle’.”

“Hey, he compared my music taste to a hipsters’. I’ll have you know I listen to terrible music unironically. Say I have bad taste all you want, but do not compare me to a hipster.”

“And who’s the one now hanging from the ceiling.”

“Hey, I got the scanner in one piece.”

“Yes, but who is going to get you?”

“Ooh, I vote Steve!!”

Jane raised a brow in confusion.

“I figured Tony would be easier, why Steve?”

Darcy shrugged as best as she could upside down.

“I’ve been feeling a bit disenfranchised. The arms of freedom should help.”

 

* * *

  

5. **"He is not Simba, you are not Rafiki, and Stark Tower is not Pride Rock!"**

Jane finished with her hands on her hips as she gave Darcy a determined look.

“Oh, come on! It’s Bucky’s first public outing with the Avengers. We need to properly symbolize his rebirth!”

“And I understand that it’s a big deal, but that still doesn’t mean I’m going to build you a counterweight system so you can re-enact you favorite Disney scene.”

Darcy folded her arms with a harrumph.

“Such a spoil sport.”

“Mmhmm. Totally.”Jane turned back to her machine, her voice now muffled from inside the bowels of metal machinery. “And don’t think I’m unaware you’re only coming to me after Tony said no.”

Her assistant gave a guilty cough, but didn’t deny it.

“Who would have thought he would be so ‘mature’,” Darcy finished with a tone of contempt.

Jane snorted.

“It’s more that Pepper still hasn’t forgiven him for the t-shirt cannon of doom he made for the last press conference. The White House sent over the bill last week.”

 

* * *

 

6.  **"It's crazy but uh, me and his ex-girlfriend are good friends now...even though he was a no good **bleep** who decided that dating two women at the same time was a okay plan. And honestly, it sucked. Me and Val didn't know about each other... we had each thought that this was it, that he was the one. Prince Charming, you know? But it turns out that Prince Charming isn't too charming at all." Darcy explains.**

“That douche, need me to take care of him?”

She turned her head carefully to give a smile over her shoulder.

“Thanks, Wade, but nah. We already took care of him.”

He snorted and continued braiding her hair.

“I figured you had. But I could finish him. You know. Make him dead.”

She laughed.

“As much as I’d love to have Deadpool right all my wrongs, I think it’s better he just wish he’s dead. We made sure all the women in his life knew what he was up to. Last I heard his mother was still roasting his ass.”

He hummed as he put the tie in the end of her braid.

“Speaking of roasted ass, I’m hungry. Wanna go eat?”

 

* * *

 

7.  **"It was like that when I got here!" he shrieked, backing away quickly and raising his hands up in surrender.**

Jane rolled her eyes at Tony’s antics.

“I know. Thor accidentally stepped on it getting out of bed this morning, so I left it there for you to fix it before Darcy finds out.”

He let out a breath of relief.

“Okay, good. I didn’t want to deal with the wrath of an accessory diminished Lewis again. I still have nightmares about when I broke her iPod.”

Jane groaned.

“We all do. That was a miserable week in the lab.”

Tony nodded and began to reach for tools. But after a couple minutes he paused and turned to watch Jane speculatively as he stroked his goattee in thought.

“So why _did_ you and blondie have Lewis’ taser in your bedroom?”

 

* * *

 

8. **"You are the worst human being I have ever and will ever know," she said, punctuating her statement by blowing a raspberry.**

“Your opinion has been noted, Ms. Lewis,” Agent Coulson deadpanned.

He went back to his paperwork, ignoring her as he continued to write notes, no doubt denying everyone else important sanity-encouraging activities. 

With a sigh, Darcy got up to leave. 

“And please ensure that Agent Barton is aware that your request for the football-field length water slide has been denied, no matter how ‘awesome’ nor ‘sweet’ the resulting team building may have been.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Just what are you implying, Agent Coulson, aka the destroyer of dreams?”

He looked up, and raised his brows.

“If he goes and buys it because he ‘didn’t get the memo’ like with the inflatable T-rex costumes, I’m taking it out of your coffee budget.”

 

* * *

  

9. **"Dude, you're crazy! Practically certifiable!"**

“No I’m not, my mother had me tested.”

Jane folded her arms and stared at the man’s back as he continued to fiddle with whatever 100%-likely-to-explode doodad he was working on now.

“Stark, you are _**not**_ quoting Big Bang Theory at me at a time like this.”

He finally turned his head to glance at her with a raised brow.

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

She took a deep breath, puffing her chest and throwing her shoulders back.

“One, because they skip all the science now and it’s not a funny show anymore. Two, because you hate it. And three, because you just almost blew up my assistant!”

He raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay, Foster, calm down.”

He started to turn back to his table until she let out a high-pitched growl and threw the nearest object at him. 

Luckily for Tony, it was just a styrofoam container of his half-eaten chow mein. Unluckily for Tony, a few noodles got stuck in his facial hair. 

But it didn’t really make Jane feel better.

“I will not calm down until you get Darcy’s hair back to normal color and somehow retrieve my scanner in once piece from where it’s embedded in the ceiling!”

 

* * *

 

 10.  **"It's crazy but... I feel like I have known you since forever. I don't remember what life was like before I met you."**

Director Fury’s good eye squinted at her, but she kept it together.

“Seriously, Nicky. What would we do without your calm demeanor and penchant for ignoring our civil rights and liberties?”

He sat straighter, the leather of his coat creaking.

“Ms. Lewis?”

She grinned and leaned forward to set her elbow on the edge of his desk and rested her chin in her hand.

“Yes, Nicky?”

The eye began twitching now.

“Get the _hell_ out of my office.”

“Of course, Nicky.”

She stood, fighting back a giggle, and began making her way to the door.

“And if you ever call me Nicky again, your silly ass will never _have_ any civil rights or liberties in the future.”

Darcy snickered as she turned to give him a mock salute on the way out the door. 

“Of course, o wrathful one.”

As soon as she made it to the elevator she pulled out her phone to text Steve.

**You so owe me $50**

 

* * *

 

 11.  **"We met up every ten years and swap stories about caves," Darcy snarks.**

Hill’s face didn’t register any emotion, but there was a pause before she answered.

“Ms. Lewis, I was not asking why you supposedly call Dr. Peters “Gollum”. I am requesting that you stop before he files another workplace harassment complaint that I have to deal with.”

Darcy snorted and shuffled her feet.

“Clearly you haven’t seen the man with his microscope slides.”

Hill’s lips twitched this time.

“Be that at as it may, try to keep the hazing to a minimum. I’m still processing the paperwork from Stark’s brief workplace partnership with Deadpool.”

 

* * *

  

12.  **"What?! I was only gone for a week--seriously? What were you thinking? Building Utron--ooohhh Tony! I would just love to wring your neck! You built a murderbot! It stalked me!" Darcy yells.**

Tony cringed trying to cover his ears, but Jarvis was playing the voicemail too loudly for it to be very effective.

“Make it stop!!”

Darcy just smirked, letting the recording from the previous year continue on a loop.

“Not until you admit that this idea is just as stupid!”

He glared, clearly having heard her over the sound from the speakers.

“I don’t know what you’re on about! An underwater compound and robot security mammals are a freaking genius idea!”

She rolled her eyes and popped her custom-made, noise-cancelling ear plugs in. She’d hidden Tony’s earlier in the day when she’d made her deal with Jarvis. It was going to be an interesting afternoon.

 

* * *

  

13.  **"Sit down before you blow a fuse, dude."**

“I will not blow a fuse!” Tony grunted through his sentence, forcing his malfunctioning suit to move where he wanted it to. “This is a piece of genius Stark engineering. There’s no way I’ll blow a fuse.”

Darcy snorted.

“Sure, maybe if you hadn’t accidentally run your new prototype into the Hulk’s backhand swing, flown directly into the side of that concrete building, and then taken an accidental dip in whatever hazmat waste was in that tank beside said building.”

He huffed, but she wasn’t sure if it was indignation or lack of breath from actually physically moving his suit around.

“Jarvis said it wasn’t hazardous.”

“Yes, but did he say what it was?”

She couldn’t make out his mumble as he continued to grunt his way down the hall. That was, until something sparked, his right arm jerked, and then dropped to his side, slightly smoking at the shoulder.

Tony sighed.

“Not a word, Lewis. Not a word.”

His following threats of firing her were totally unfounded; a hyena laugh totally didn’t count as a word.


	2. Gen

1\. **"I knew you said you needed an odd favor, but seriously, why am I helping you move your entire stash of chocolate at one in the morning"**

Darcy let out another put upon sigh and glared at Clint for the bajillionth time in the ten minutes they’d been working in the dark of the lab.

“What happened to ‘I’m up for anything?” 

He cleared his throat, but Darcy talked over him, posturing with her arms as she imitated his usual nonchalant body language. 

“Need someone to disappear? I’m your man! Need someone stalked? Got you covered!”

She rolled her eyes on a snort and tossed the last bag of mocha M&Ms into one of Clint’s gear bags. They’d already filled two, and she was definitely going to need his help hefting the third. Who knew assorted fun size bars could weight so much?

She caught his shrug out of the corner of her eye.

“I’m an assassin. That’s like a CPA offering to do someone’s taxes. This is just weird.”

“Seriously? I know for a fact that you helped Thor transport all that illegally imported cheese last month. This is way less weird.”

He stilled.

“How did you find out about that?”

She shot him a grin.

“Who else could have gotten through the air ducts and ‘accidentally’ dropped a a wheel of the stinky stuff over Tony’s work space?”

He responded with his best poker face. Darcy checked the time and let out a hiss.

“Tell you what.I promise not to tell anyone if you help me get this out of here in the next five minutes without Jane finding out.”

Clint took a deep breath as he glanced between her and one of the bags of candy contraband.

“Throw in a box of the Milk Duds and we have a deal.”

 

* * *

 

2.  **"There are at least eleven laws being broken in this room at this very moment, but what I really want to know is why you're wearing ~that~."**

Clint ignored the weapons and unconscious goons that littered the floor of his apartment and looked down at his shirt in confusion.

“What? It was free!”

Darcy sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Clint, baby. We really need to have a lesson in not selling out and having some morals when it comes to fashion.”

“Hey! I don’t see what’s so wrong with it.”

She held up her fingers to number off the sins committed.

“One, it’s a bro tank. Two, it has an image of you _in_ a bro tank and loafers. Three, it already has a massive pizza stain from where you must have slept on a slice. Four, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kate commissioned it and left it lying around because you can’t pass up free stuff.”

His eyes narrowed as he considered that last thought.

“That would explain why she cackled when I walked out in this. And why I caught her taking a picture that wasn’t of my fabulous ass.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m the one that takes stalker pics of your ass. Not Kate.”

He wagged his brows and gave her a suggestive grin.

“Wanna take some now?”

Darcy snorted and turned to leave, calling out over her shoulder.

“Call me when you’re properly dressed and free of felonies. I’ll let you take me out to make up for seeing you in that. Then we can talk about inappropriate photos.”

 

* * *

 

3. **"And how, exactly, are cards going to get us out of this mess?"**

“Just sit back and watch.”

Darcy promptly opened the box of Thank You cards she’d pulled out of the pile that had previously been inside her purse. She began carefully copying his handwriting as she wrote a note in each one. He probably should be more concerned that she could copy his scrawl so well, but if he meant he didn’t have to deal with the crazed fangirls outside, he wasn’t going to argue.

But then she just kept writing and he got bored.

“I still think I could disguise myself to get out of here.”

She snorted as she wrote.

“Please, last time you tried to disguise yourself you forgot you were wearing a Hawkweye hoodie you’d been photographed in multiple times and were recognized in ten seconds.”

“Hey, that was one time!”

Darcy looked up at him unimpressed, but handed him a pend and a stack of cards she’d already filled out.

“Sign these. Your scribble of a signature takes too long to do.”

Clint opened one of the cards and read the note. 

**Sorry I couldn’t stick around, had to go fight bad guys and stuff. Thanks for the support!**

“I still don’t see how this is going to appease the rabid fangirls.”

But he began signing his name as directed. 

“I’m going to round them up, hand these out to make them feel like they didn’t miss out and try to keep a riot off our hands. While I do that, you’re going to sneak out the back.”

Dealing with bad guys would have been so much easier. But with crazed fans, he couldn’t punch or insult his way out without incurring the wrath of Captain America. Plus, the older ones always got so grabby. 

Darcy finished the last of the cards and gave them to him to sign. She shoved the contents back into her purse from where she’d dumped it on the floor, and then stood, impatiently waiting for him to finish. 

He finally did and handed them back. She stuffed the cards into envelopes and then nodded.

“Okay, give me five minutes and then make your way out the back. I’ll meet you at the tower.”

She yanked him in for a perfunctory kiss, which he tried to deepen, but she pulled back with a smile. 

“You still owe me a real date.” 

 She stepped away and opened the door, making sure the coast was clear before she shot him a wink over her shoulder.

“And some more Thank You cards.”

 

* * *

 

 4.  **So here you are, totally incoherent. Babbling stuff, but its not making much sense but yeah, it's totally not your fault because your head made an commendable attempt to knock that bar wall down, but only because that guy had knocked you off your feet. And your bleeding like crazy, and just ouch. And I am trying not to be selfish but concussions are great at blending up memories--and what if you don't remember that you met me, your soulmate...**

Darcy trailed off as he let out a groan.

“I’m not incoherent. I was asking about my dog. Did you see him outside?”

“What?”

He grunted as he sat up, holding a hand to his bleeding scalp.

“A one-eyed golden retriever. Have you seen him?”

“Oh. Yeah,” she gestured over her shoulder, “he’s over behind the counter eating beef and broccoli.”

Her soulmate sighed and leaned back against the cashier’s counter at the now rather bullet- (and surprisingly arrow) riddled Chinese restaurant they were in.

“Good. That’s good.”

“So, your dog’s name is Pizza Dog?”

He laughed, but it turned into another groan as he lifted the non-bleeding-scalp-holding hand up to his ribs.

“No. ‘s name’s Lucky.”

“Oh. Okay.”

She sat there, watching him, not sure what else to say. But then he gave her a rueful grin.

“Not to be a bother, but wanna help me stop the bleeding? After that, we can talk about why my soulmark is a terrible space pun.”

Darcy grinned and shrugged her shoulders.

“Sure, what’re soulmates for?”

 

* * *

  

5. **"He's adorkable, and totally intense," Darcy wails. "I swear, Jane! I wasn't trying to date him or anything--but me and chocolate, I swear! I'd dump him if he wasn't providing me a steady supply of chocolate!!"**

Jane snorted.

“Please, you’re just in denial.”

Darcy lifted her head from where she’d dramatically dropped it on the table to squint at her boss.

“What are you talking about?”

She swiveled around in her chair to point a marker at Darcy.

“You have been googly-eyed over Clint since we arrived at the tower.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but the gleam in Jane’s eye stopped her.

“You’re halfway in love with him, and it has nothing to do with his biceps or chocolate addiction enabling.”

Darcy let out another sigh and dropped her head back down.

“Fine. You’re right. But if he ditches me because he accidentally started a gang war one more time, he will deeply regret it. No matter how much chocolate he tries to bribe me with.”

 

* * *

 

 6.  **"It's not your fault... really, it isn't! It's just that... there is something about relationships that kind of REALLY make me feel twitchy--and yeah, I know. I'm totally a flight risk, but I'm trying to be calm about things... and you haven't done anything wrong. It's just that relationships--generally--make me feel super twitchy and nervous and yeah, I suck." Darcy babbles.**

Clint blinked a couple times.

“I was just apologizing because I killed your favorite cookie sheet, but, uh, thanks for the heads up?”

Darcy stared at him and then closed her eyes, not sure whether to be embarrassed at the word vomit or glad she’d finally got it out there. 

But when she didn’t say anything for a couple moments, he stepped closer, gently pulling her closer by her elbow.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

She snorted and he placed his other hand on her jaw, rubbing his thumb along her cheek bone.

“I mean it. I’m usually the one to screw everything up in a relationship, so it’s actually kind of comforting knowing I’ve got a 50/50 chance here.”

Darcy opened her eyes as she jabbed him in the ribs.

He dodged as best as he could and laughed, gathering her into a hug.

“Seriously. No need to worry. After last week, I’m pretty sure we’re both a flight risk.”

“Ugh,” she groaned. “Do you really have to use my word choice against me for terrible puns at a time like this? I’m still kind of freaking out.”

He laughed, squeezing her closer.

“I know, but if you’re always going to give me crap for trying to fly off buildings, I figure I should get to make all the puns I want.”

She didn’t respond, but instead wrapped her arms around him, letting his chuckles reverberate through her cheek, settling something that had been teetering in her chest.

 

* * *

  

7.  **Darcy pulled her fingers back from the small contraption with a hiss of betrayal: electricity was usually her friend!**

“And what have we here?”

She tried to shove the mess of wires and circuits out of sight, but Tony came up and stopped her.

“I thought I told you, Lewis. No maniacal robot construction in the labs unless I’m here to supervise.”

She snorted.

“Whatever. I just didn’t think you should be involved in this.”

“And what is _this_ exactly?” he asked as he leaned over the electrical guts in front of him. “Wait, isn’t that bridbrain’s alarm clock?”

She sniffed.

“Maybe.”

“Why are you dissecting your boyfriend’s electronics? Is this why we can’t have nice things.”

Darcy rolled her eyes as she pulled her project closer.

“No, we can’t have nice things because Clint seems to think the snooze button is meant to be used at least five times every morning and I am not be held responsible for what happens when others force me to become a morning person.”

Tony hummed as he looked over her efforts.

“Are you rewiring it so it shocks him if he hits the snooze button?”

She sniffed again.

“Maybe.”

“Hmmm,” he walked away for a second and came back with something in his hands. “If you reroute the power this way it’ll give a way better kick.”

She sat up to watch him out of the corner of her eye.

“I thought you had a called a truce on pranking Clint after the fiery senator’s toupee debacle?”

He rested his hand on her shoulder, holding his other to his heart.

“This isn’t a prank from me. I am simply imparting my valuable expertise to the downtrodden and needy.”

She turned back to her work with a snort.

“Whatever, Stark. Just show where to connect the wires.”


	3. Darcy/Remy

1.  **So how am I supposed to explain all of this to Jane?**

“I think that should be rather easy.”

Remy pulled her closer, burying his nose in her neck. 

When he didn’t say anything else, she poked him in the shoulder and he hummed.

“I’m serious, Remy. I have a tattoo of Neil deGrasse Tyson saying ‘Science Bitches’ on my thigh. How am I ever supposed to wear shorts again?”

He chuckled.

“I rather thought Jane would appreciate that.”

Darcy sighed. He was right. Jane would actually love it.

“Whatever. Just remind me to never let Kitty and Piotr mix my drinks again.”

 

* * *

 

2.  **"Wait--what? Tony's your Dad? Does he know your dating Remy? 'Cause I'm totally going to tell him!"**

Darcy scoffed at Clint.

“Please, how do you think I met him?”

She went back to reading her magazine, but he took it away so she would talk to him. Always so desperate for attention.

“Wait, he _introduced_ you two?”

She shrugged.

“Eh, not exactly. I snuck into one of his poker nights. Fell in love at first sight. Remy sang me a song. I got my first kiss. It was a _great_ night.”

Clint’s mouth hung open and he blinked several times before his brows came together as he finally processed the information.

“Your first kiss was Remy?”

“Yep.”

She stole her magazine back and tried to get back to her article on how to properly set the dye in jeans (she was tired of blue thighs), but he grabbed it back, eliciting a growl from Darcy.

“When was this?”

She huffed and folded her arms, but then grinned at him as she paused.

“Oh, I was about five at the time.”

“And he _kissed_ you?”

She waggled her brows, but the effect was ruined when she giggled.

“On the cheek.”

 


	4. Darcy/Steve

1.  **I can't stop the bleeding!**

Steve froze in the bathroom of the doorway, taking in the sight before him. One very inebriated Darcy sat in the bathtub, surrounded by water balloons as she cradled a particularly large one, lightly poking her finger into the side of it.

“Uh, Darce?”

She gasped, realizing he was there.

“Steve! You can fix this. You have to fix this!!”

He paused not exactly sure how to proceed.

“Fix what?”

“Bubba is dying! He was going to be my secret weapon. My pièce de résistance. But he’s dying!!!”

She held the balloon up, a stream of water shooting from a hole in the side and nearly hitting him in the chest before he ducked behind the door.

“STEVE!”

He let out a sigh and walked in, braving a mild wetting as he sat on the edge of the tub.

“You got in another prank war with Sam, didn’t you?”

She lowered the balloon with a pout. 

“Yes, and now he’s going to win.” 

After the pink bedazzled shield fiasco, Steve had finally reached a truce with Sam and had refused to help Darcy in any other efforts she came up with.

She let out a long, shaky breath and Steve rolled his eyes. He always was a sucker.

He cupped her jaw to get her to look at him instead of the ever-shrinking balloon.

“Sam’s not gonna win if I have anything to do with it. What do I need to do?”

 

* * *

 

2. **"Hermits United. It's like A.A.A. except it is a community of hermits. Now, I don't think that you REALLY count as a hermit but TECHNICALLY you count as one, Steve. Constantly wanting to fight the population of New York is soo not good for Avengers' PR."**

“What?!”

Darcy held up the paper in front of her.

“I’m just reading the report. Don’t blame me.”

Steve’s brows furrowed and he got off the couch to come look at the paper.

“That doesn’t sound like anything Hill would have written.”

He scanned the page and let out a sigh.

“Tony wrote this.”

Darcy already knew that, so she couldn’t help the giggle that came out.

He gave her a stern glare that, of course, had no effect, so he just sighed again.

“Who the hell let that man get a hold of official SHIELD documents.” 

Another giggle escaped.

“I don’t know, but I’m sure Fury is gonna love when he gets his mission report from the kebab adventure yesterday. Do you think Tony made sure to inventory all the pieces of furniture broken and all the food eaten?”

Steve winced, reflexively crumpling the paper in his hand. Because Tony probably did.

 

* * *

  

3.  **"Well, your head met the wall.. quite hard, I'm afraid."**

 “That explains the headache, but it doesn’t explain why you’re pregnant.”

Darcy looked down at her protruding belly and back at Jane, who was now rubbing her temples.

“Uh, been this way for about eight months, boss lady.”

“No. You most certainly were not like that this morning.”

Jane shook her head slightly and Darcy let out a gasp.

“Wait, what year is it for you?”

“I do not have a concussion.”

“Just answer the damn question.”

Jane raised her eyebrows.

“2016.”

Darcy jumped up as best as she was able to and did a happy dance.

“About time!! You took freaking forever.”

Jane’s mouth hung open, She could not, for the life of her, put together what her assistant was talking about.

Darcy finally caught on and waddled her way back over.

“You, my dear Janey, have time-travelled. It’s 2020.”

“Seriously?”

Her assistant nodded her head violently.

“Your big wormhole machine thingamajiggy got recalibrated or something and you wound up here. It’s only for a couple minutes, but you make a crap-ton of 20/20 vision jokes for years to come.”

Jane snorted and shrugged, unable to deny that. It sounded like her.

“Okay, so if I’m only here for a couple minutes, what should I know?”

Darcy put her hands on her hips and let out a huff.

“What, no worries about ruining the fabric of time, distorting the space-time continuum with knowledge of the future?”

Her past/present boss pursed her lips and folded her arms. Yep, just another day in the lab. 

Darcy giggled and pulled up a stool, slowly lowering herself onto it, hand resting on her belly.

“Okay, fine, let me remember what all was going on then. Uh…You win the fight with Tony about acceptable food in the lab, so don’t give in to his demands.”

Jane let out another snort. That had been a given.

“You should go stargazing that weekend. You made some breakthrough because of whatever data you gathered.”

There was a hum of interest at that suggestion.

“And you were the reason I’m like this now.”

Darcy finished with an emphatic rub of her stomach, and Jane raised an eyebrow.

“As much faith as I have in Science!, I’m not sure we’d have developed the scientific means for me to impregnate you, Darce.”

“Love you, boss lady, but I don’t think the world could handle a child with your brain and my attitude.”

Jane nodded sagely but then paused.

“So, wait, then how was I the reason?”

Darcy’s lips stretched into a wide grin.

“Because you told me to finally pull my head out of my ass about Steve and tell him I was in love with him.”

Jane gasped and pointed.

“I knew you were secretly dating!!”

“Yes. Yes. You’re a genius.” Darcy paused and narrowed her eyes. “Although, now that I think about it, me telling you this is like my future self telling me to grow a pair, so maybe I should stop treating you to lunch whenever my husband is awesome.”

“No take backs! I deserve all the lunch,” the scientist yelled. 

She laughed, but then Jane grabbed her shoulders.

“Wait, husband?”

Darcy waggled her eyebrows.

“You’re looking at Mrs. Freedom and Justice herself.”

 


	5. Darcy/Bucky

1.  **That doesn't belong there**

 Darcy whirled around to see Bucky leaning against the island, watching her with a sly twist to his lips. He knew she hated when he snuck up on her.

Choosing to ignore his purposeful lurking, she sniffed and lifted her nose.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Steve’s granola bars go on the top shelf. He knows when you’ve stolen one.”

“I know they go on the top shelf, I have to use a spatula to get them down.” She paused when she realized what else he’d said. “What do you mean he knows when I steal one? He told me I could!”

He chuckled as he crossed his arms.

“Under duress. Whenever you take one, he steals one of your sodas.”

“That was him?! Why that little…”

Darcy narrowed her eyes, looked back at the granola bars, and then focused on Bucky who stood watching her, lips still ticked up in a smirk.

“Care to help a damsel out?”

He straightened, a full smile stretching across his face as he stepped closer. She didn’t necessarily trust that look. Bucky only seemed to look that happy when he was causing trouble. But he only stepped closer, crowding her against the counter, and reaching up to move the box above her head. 

Her breath caught when he leaned in and she found herself staring at his mouth.

He hummed to himself when he caught her reaction.

“It’d be my pleasure.”

 

* * *

 

2. **"Who are you and what are you doing?"**

Whoever it was that was sneaking across the other side of the dark room froze and whirled to face the cocoon of blankets in the corner where Darcy had curled up earlier. She caught a glint of metal and suddenly felt very confused.

“Bucky?”

He straightened and turned on a flashlight, effectively blinding her. 

“Darcy? What are you doing here?”

She raised her hands to protect her eyes and glared at him squintily.

“Why the hell shouldn’t I be here? This is _my_ room!”

Admittedly, she’d only met Bucky a few weeks earlier and most of their interactions were on the common floor, so it wasn’t surprising that he didn’t know where her room was. (Though, she wouldn’t mind him knowing exactly where her room was for future reference.) But that didn’t explain why he was showing up there in the middle of the night in what looked like full tactical gear.

He suddenly lowered the flashlight with a sigh.

“Training exercise my ass. I should have known that punk was up to something.”

Darcy clambered out of the blanket fort she’d fallen asleep in and walked over to Bucky, wrapping one of the blankets around her shoulders.

“Training exercise?”

“Yeah, Steve said we were going to be practicing field work in high-populated areas. I was just supposed to drop the package and leave.”

She gasped and narrowed her eyes.

“He didn’t, did he? What was he having you drop off?”

Bucky pulled out a charred, half-melted replica of Director Fury. The doll had become rather worse for wear as Steve and Darcy had been placing it in various places around the tower to freak each other out. The lab had proven especially dangerous for the little guy, but that was no reason for Steve to bring in unwitting help.

With a vicious smile she plucked the doll out of his hands.

“I’ll be taking that.”

He chuckled and relaxed into a casual slouch.

“I’m happy to relieve my duty. So why were you in the corner and not bed anyway?”

Darcy answered as she went to tuck the doll in a drawer for safe keeping until the time was right.

“I made a blanket fort for the proper Neverending Story experience and fell asleep.”

“What?”

She flipped on the light and they both winced at the sudden bright light. But she was very concerned at that moment and pushed through it.

“Which part of that did you not understand?”

He shrugged.

“Both?”

With a shake of her head, she walked forward and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the corner where he’d found her.

“Then we’ll just have to remedy that right now.”

She took it as a good sign that he followed without argument.

 

* * *

 

 3.  **"I feel like I might regret asking this, but do I even want to know what's under there?"**

Bucky froze on the doorstep, his hands clenching on the covered tray he carried.

“You’re home early.”

Darcy shrugged and watched him over the back of the couch.

“Jane was called out for an impromptu lecture, so I got to play hookie. But, that hasn’t distracted me from wondering what you got there.”

She nodded toward the tray and waited for him to respond.

With a sigh, he stepped fully into the room and came to where she sat. He set the tray down on the table in front of her and plopped down onto the other couch cushion.

“You might as well look.”

Curious, she leaned forward and gently lifted the fabric. It turned out it was covering a cookie tray that was covered in her favorite British candy bars. She lowered the cloth and turned back to Bucky.

“Okay, I’m lost.”

He let out another long sigh and pouted at her.

“You kept talking about how you missed these, and I found a British food store, so I picked them up and was going to surprise you.”

She tilted her head.

“Yes, but wouldn’t a bag have been easier? What’s with all the weird subterfuge?”

He harrumphed and sank further into the cushions.

“Stark had security protocols changed in the building to search me if I had a bag.” His lips ticked up on one side. “He didn’t say anything about a tray, though.”

Darcy nodded slowly.

“Right. I’m still a little lost.”

Bucky twisted to face her as he still slouched into the cushions.

“Stark is convinced I’ve been stealing his special lab booze for some reason. He thinks I’m sneaking it in and out of the tower, so he has security search me. And he’s programmed Jarvis to record all my movements, so I had to hide what was on the tray so he wouldn’t ruin the surprise by telling you.”

She bit her lip to hold back a giggle, but it was a losing battle. After a long peal of laughter, she leaned forward, grabbing him by the neck to kiss him soundly. 

“Well, I’m still surprised. So you win. And if you want to get Tony off your back, I’d suggest going into the lab around 7:16 tomorrow morning.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“Why?”

She grinned.

“Because that’s when Natasha has been coming by to steal the booze.”

 

* * *

 

 4.  **Put her down**

Bucky flinched, looking back over his shoulder to see Darcy standing with her arms folded, eyes narrowed and mouth stern.

“I was just looking.”

“Uh huh,” she drew the second sound out. “And I said put her down.”

He turned to fully face her with a sigh.

“Come on, I said I was sorry about the taser.”

She nodded.

“And I forgave you for that. But if you break Lucille, we are going to have problems that food and sexual favors will not be able to fix.”

He raised his eyebrows at that, a grin slowly spreading across his face letting her know he didn’t think she was serious. 

But she unfolded one hand to point at him.

“I mean it! You accidentally crunch my iPod and there will be hell to pay, no matter how many times you try prove sex is actually better than cake.”

He hesitated, but then noted the gleam in her eye. And slowly set the music device back on the table.


	6. Darcy/Sam

1.  **"Dude, my heart is literally in your hands. Steve can never find out about this."**

Darcy rolled her eyes and began climbing the tree that Sam had gotten stuck in. 

“You are such a drama llama. It’s not like you didn’t have to get him down from that building last week.”

She carefully made her way across the branch he was hanging from.

“Yeah, and for the crap I gave him, I know he’ll never let me live this one down.”

Darcy snickered, wrapping herself around the branch and carefully figuring out what was holding Sam up.

“And you think I will?”

“Eh, I can distract you more than I can him.”

He waggled his brows suggestively. Darcy just smirked as she hit the release on his wings without warning, making him drop the ten feet to the ground with a squawk.

“A little warning next time, woman!”

She giggled and dropped his wing pack down to him. With a fancy twist Natasha had taught her, she swung her lower half off the branch and dropped. But before she could hit the ground, Sam had caught her. 

He gave her a cocky grin with one arm wrapped around her thighs, the other snaking his way up her waist. She felt his chuckle in her ribs and her hands squeezed into the muscles of his shoulders as she stared at his mouth.

“See, told you I could distract you.”

 

* * *

 

 2.  **Please stop!**

“Mercy is for the weak!” Darcy yelled as she went back to attacking Sam. 

Who knew badass superheroes could be so ticklish?

“No seriously, if you keep going, I’m not responsible for whatever body part my elbows connect with!”

She paused.

“Then do you concede?”

He tried to catch his breath for a moment before looking at her.

“What? No! I don’t care what you say. Digimon is way better than Pokemon.”

“Then suffer the consequences,” she hollered as she jabbed her fingers back into his sides.

He let out a high-pitched squeal and she cackled. 

He really should have taken the reprieve when he had the chance.


	7. Darcy/Wade Wilson

1.  **"Oh no, you didn't? Please tell me you didn't bring home another stray! We don't have enough room--I get that your trying to balance out your karma by like rescuing all of the animals, but seriously Deadpool! My allergies cannot handle anymore of this fluffy cuteness in such high quantities!! I am being choked to death by snot and general ickiness because with every step that I take I am surrounded by animals!"**

”They do know that was more than a one sentence prompt, right?”

**Yes, Wade, I’m sure they do. But I’m incapable of answering with only five sentences, so it seems a little moot doesn’t it?**

“You do have a point there.”

**Yes, now can we get back to the story?**

“If you insist.”

Wade turned around to face a swollen-eyed, red-nosed Darcy who had folded her arms, waiting until he finished.

“And what’s your excuse this time?”

He bent to pick up a mutt that needed a bath as well as some serious love if it’s woeful look was anything to go by.

“Just look at this face? How could I leave him alone?”

She sighed, rubbing at one eye absentmindedly.

“And where did you find this one?”

“The alley behind my favorite Mexican place. He just looked so lonely and dejected. Rather reminded me of Clint.”

Darcy suddenly, perked up and pointed at him.

“Genius!”

“I am, but for what particular reason this time?”

She came forward, grabbed the pooch and headed for the door.

“Hurry up! I need  you to break into Clint’s apartment for me so we can leave this little guy in his new home.”

He stayed where he stood, watching her walk out with a smile on his face.

“Devious and sweet. My kind of girl. Not to mention the boobies.”

**Yes, Wade. We know. Now get a move on.**


	8. Darcy/Johnny

1.  **Who do you think you are?**

“Whooooo. Some kind of superstar.”

Reed Richards folded his arms, watching Darcy with jaw muscles clenching.

“What, were we not talking about one of the formative Spice Girls songs from my childhood?”

Johnny snickered over in the corner and Bruce stepped forward to play referee. 

“Okay, yes, Darcy, Reed was being a bit…intense, but maybe we should try to bring things back to a more respectful tone.”

She snorted.

“Sure. As soon as he admits he’s wrong and the capacitors won’t handle the load.”

“I don’t think some assistant is really going to–”

Darcy tuned him out and looked over to where Jane was crunching the numbers. It only took another couple of seconds.

“She’s right.”

Richards stopped mid-privileged-douchehole rant and whirled to face her.

“What?!”

Bruce gave up trying to play good cop and nodded at her impressed.

“Nice catch, Darce.”

Darcy shrugged.

“What? I pay attention.”

Reed continued to move his jaw without much sound coming out as he frantically reviewed the math.

“But…how…”

“Science bitches!”

Darcy held up the marker she’d been holding, and dropped it to the floor. Dramatic mic drop finished, she high-fived Tony and made her way to the door.

But Johnny came jogging up beside her before she could make it to the elevator.

“So, not just because you’re gorgeous and out-scienced my asshole of a brother-in-law, but I think I kinda love you right now.”

She froze and stared up at his flirty grin.

Those were the words wrapping their way around her right calf.

Well hell.

 

* * *

 

 2.  **"Well, I dunno," Darcy stutters. "Like I could, you know... love you eventually. But, uh... I need time. And you're kind of driving me insane, dude. Like sometimes I wanna jump your bones. Other times..well, I kind of want to sock you in the shoulder. Really hard."**

Johnny leaned back against the elevator wall, grinning as through proud of himself. Which, knowing him, he probably was.

“In the shoulder?”

“Yes.”

“Not the face?”

She huffed and purposely went to the opposite end of the elevator for some space.

“Are you kidding? I already broke my hand once punching someone, the shoulder is way better. Plus, most of the time I like the way your features are, you know,” she gestured in a circular motion towards his face, “arranged, so I figure I should try to preserve that.”

“I appreciate that and all, seeing as how you’re my soulmate and all.”

She raised a hand and rubbed at her right temple, trying to not lose her cool. Especially when they were in such a confined space. She would wind up following through with one of her earlier threats. And she didn’t want either on Tony Stark’s security feeds.

“Yes, I remember. Which, you know, I appreciate that you’re so gung-ho about it and whatnot, but I need some time to adjust. I mean, we did just officially meet yesterday.”

He slowly straightened and came closer, stopping fully outside her personal space for the first time in the 36 hours since they’d spoken each other’s words.

“Just adjusting, right? You’re not gonna run?”

Darcy noticed the slight furrow between his brows and began to realize why he’d been so enthusiastic from the get go. He was worried she didn’t want him. Well shit.

With a soft sigh, she lowered her hand to his upper arm and gave a comforting squeeze.

“Not running. Just regrouping.”

He nodded, and then his earlier grin came back.

“Just so we’re clear. You’re always welcome to ‘regroup’ _with_ me.”

Darcy closed her eyes, already knowing what was coming, especially as he was most definitely flexing the arm her hand still rested on.

“Seeing as how you’re already thinking of jumping my bones and all. There’s all kinds of things I’d like to _adjust_ with you.”

She couldn’t hold back her groan, and thanked every deity she could think of that the elevator dinged to announce their floor.

 

* * *

 

 3.  **"Frogspawn. Utter frogspawn.. what is he doing? Doesn't he know that that is dangerous?! No, no, no, no... he did it. Gosh. He actually did it. And practically shaved ten years off of my life while doing it. I'm gonna have white hair at age: 30 because of that reckless idiot!"**

“You turned 30 last month.”

Sue turned to narrow her eyes at Darcy, who was playing a video game on her phone on the other couch.

“Thanks for the reminder,” she said through pursed lips.

“Any time.”

The blonde rolled her eyes and went back to watching her team fighting alongside the Avengers on the television. But Johnny went zooming past, nearly colliding with one very stationary Hulk, and she let out a gasp.

Darcy finally got up off the couch and turned the TV off.

“You freaking out is not helping anyone, believe me, I’ve tried.”

She went back to her spot and dropped unceremoniously onto the cushion.

“I don’t know how you’re so _calm_ about all this?”

Darcy glanced up from her virtual murderous tirade with a snort.

“What makes you think I’m calm about this?”

Sue folded her arms and leaned back in her seat.

“Okay, then why aren’t you actually freaking out?”

She shrugged, setting her phone aside.

“Johnny and I figured out a while ago that it was best if I didn’t watch him work anymore.”

Sue raised a brow in question, and she couldn’t stop the grin the spread across her face.

“Because if I did I’d just get mad at him, and all we’d ever do was fight and have make-up sex. And great as that is, there’s just too much we both have to do.”

“No, nope, never!” Sue held her hands over her ears. “Your soulmate or not, I refuse to believe my brother is anything other than a virginal angel. I am _not_ going to think about his sex life.”

Darcy snickered and pulled her legs up to sit cross-legged.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

Sue finally lowered her hands to rest them on her barely-there baby bump.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She sniffed.

“Uh, huh. From what I hear, the only reason you’re not out there with your team was because you and Reed might have had a little make-up of your own after the giant octopus fiasco.”

The other woman gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

“I knew I heard someone. I can’t believe Johnny walked in on that!”

Darcy laughed at her discomfort, but then Sue sat up straight, slapping her hands down on either side of her.

“Wait, he _told_ you?!”

With a shrug, Darcy picked her phone up, preparing for another deadly spree.

“Eh, who better to tell about your accidental mental scarring than your soulmate?”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I'm [awww-brain-no](http://awww-brain-no.tumblr.com/) on the tumblr. Ask box is always open if you want to chat or send a prompt!


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